“I do really believe people CAN have a good experience in hospital but you HAVE to prepare not ‘go with flow’.”

I’m so happy to be bringing you this birth story - Steph's fourth vaginal birth in Hospital. As an experienced birthing mama she shares a lot of wisdom and I just know it’s going to give you a good dose of confidence and ‘you can do this'.

I loved doing a tailored 1:1 session with Steph & Ryan - all births deserve time to prepare your mindset, debrief the last experience and refresh what you want and need, as well as a few additional tools.

Over to Steph & a big thank you for her kindly sharing her story (she’s also a fab Chiropractor in Ballarat so make sure you check out her business, Goldfields Health Collective.

Story by Steph

"When I was pregnant for the 4th time I was already excited to give birth again. We’d had 3 births previously that I have always considered went well. I would describe them as completely intervention free, fairly fast, healthy births with no complications.

Although I found them challenging and painful, I’ve never thought of them as being traumatic. I also found Ryan to be largely present and helpful in all 3 births.

Ryan, however, thinks of them differently and he can’t even talk about the births of his children. If he sees a birth on tv I can see that he’s triggered and uncomfortable. I wanted him to be able to think about our Births in a positive way, like I do.

For this reason, I decided to organise for Midwife Lauretta to do a private birthing preparation session with us. I knew she would help us reframe some language and thinking processes around pain and birth to try to make it a more positive experience for Ryan.

Anyway, fast forward to June. Linc’s EDD was the 7th but I had gone past my EDD each time. The 4th was a Sunday and I woke feeling different and had more pre-labour like symptoms than I had had on the previous days. I decided to have a home day, bouncing on the ball and a little bit of organising. Our friend Trish had agreed to have our kids for us when we were in labour, so I messaged Trish saying it could be today. I put fresh sheets on our bed in case she needed to stay. But by 9pm I sadly hopped into those clean sheets with no labour symptoms! I went back to my original thoughts that I would have a boy on the 12th.

My EDD came and went and 8 days later on Monday the 12th I woke feeling the same - lots of pre-labour symptoms. But I didn’t want to mope around the house again so we decided to visit friends. Ryan and the boys went to Ballan and Harper, her friend and I went to a friend’s birthday in Creswick. I reassured Ryan that we were both only 20mins from home and I’d let him know if we needed to head home!

On the way we stopped to buy the friend some donuts. I knew then, that I was in labour, but I proceeded to drive to Creswick.

When we arrived at Emma’s I said to Harper and her friend that we wouldn’t stay long and when I say we need to go, it means we need to go!

So we went in and after a few brief chats I was struggling to talk through my contractions and I definitely couldn’t hide them. We left Creswick at 2.20. At this time I contacted Trish, Ryan, and HARPER’S now very anxious friend’s mum. We all agreed to meet at home. I also texted Astin (my student midwife) to update her.

So I got home and everyone was there soon after. My contractions were intensifying fast So after saying goodbye we headed to the Hospital.

Ryan dropped me off at the entrance at about 3.10 so he could go park. I popped into the ED toilets and I was just hoping and praying I didn’t give birth in there! I didn’t and I made it up to the birthing suite about the same as Ryan. But he’d forgotten my bag so he went back to car to get that.

After about 10 mins I realised I hadn’t updated Astin as promised so I was about to msg her when she walked in. She knew to come thankfully!

Astin (student midwife) and Claire (midwife) were both absolutely amazing! They read and supported my birth plan and were so supportive if I needed them, but just let me do my thing. Ryan was physically and emotionally with me and let me push my body against him as I needed to as a form of pain relief.

My contractions intensified and I went into the bathroom. I knew that the feeling of needing to poo was most likely going to be followed by me wanting to push, so I was prepared for that.

Whilst going to the toilet my waters broke and soon after that I started pushing. I pushed a head out, and Astin was supporting this head while I pushed the body out in the next contraction. Astin caught our baby on the bathroom floor and handed him up to me as Ryan told me we’ve had a boy. Linc Harris Ewing was born at 4.01pm on 12/06 - A Monday public holiday just like his big sister!

We made our way to the bed and straight away our baby boy knew what to do and he started feeding. We had a full hour of skin to skin and I was immediately in love and full of oxytocin again. Once again Astin and Claire facilitated and supported this time without being intrusive.

Like all of my previous births we had decided I’d have a physiological placenta birth. After an hour another midwife came in asking if I’d birthed my placenta. My midwives sent her away, but then she returned with quite a pressuring vibe and the threat of needing to go to theatre if I didn’t Birth it.

I knew what I had to do so it was Ryan’s turn for skin to skin and I got upright and In The bathroom was able to effectively birth the placenta with a small amount of assistance from Astin and Claire. During that bathroom visit an obstetrician came into the room to check in and the midwives sent her away reassuring her we were all just Fine. I was very grateful for that and felt like they advocated for me in that space.
The placenta was absolutely perfect and Astin kindly took some photos of it.

I remember thinking that night that all my births had been good, but this was my favourite. I absolutely believed in myself and didn’t go into a negative head space of ‘I can’t do this’. I controlled my breathing and Ryan supported me well through my contractions. They were painful and birthing was hard, but I stayed in control and was so happy with how it all went.

After a couple of hours we all guessed what his birth weight would be. None of us predicted him to crack the 4kg, be he did! He was over 9 pound/4kg!

4 months later and I know we are so incredibly lucky. I know it every day. Linc is such a ridiculously happy little baby boy and his 3 siblings give him so much love. I have really, really enjoyed my parenting journey but having 4 is just so amazing! Hard work but worth it.

To anyone wanting an intervention free birth within the hospital system, please know that it is possible. You really need to have a well thought out birth plan and you need to advocate for yourself. But if you do your homework and get your midwives and/or support people on board and aware of your decisions, then they will advocate for you in that space. I am so grateful for the work all my midwives did to support our births.

I’m also really grateful for Lauretta. The session that we did was really worth it and did help us reframe the language around birth. I also got some great tips that helped me stay calm and in control, making it a more enjoyable experience.

I think all first time parents should do her birth course, or something similar.

Steph & Ryan

Thanks Steph for sharing your story.

Much love -

*Information shared is of a general nature only and is not medical advice — please see your own care provider for specific and individualised information and advice. All personal strories & photos are shared with permission.

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